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POSTED: 08 SEPTEMBER 08

Peter Meares has been a leading sports commentator in Australia for 35 years, representing most of the major networks. He hosted the Commonwealth Games for the ABC in 1982, and during a long association with the Corporation has called Test cricket, rugby union and league, and hosted Sports Review for 17 years. He has won many media awards, and in 1983 was made an Advance Australia Ambassador for Sport.

REVIEW

Peter Meares, All Piss and Wind: The Inside Stories of 30 Leading Australian Sports Commentators

(ABC Books, 260pp paperback, $35, published September)

The first sports commentator who came to mind when I saw this book’s title was Neville Oliver, former broadcaster and for a while the ABC’s Head of Sport.

Not because he was any more prone to carrying on needlessly than other commentators, simply because of his nickname, “Fart in a Bath”. It’s an onomatopoeic thing. Say his name quickly in your deepest voice and you’ll get the drift.

And there he was on the cover, too, calling the Atlanta Olympics alongside Tim Lane and Duncan Armstrong.

But sadly, he missed the cut and didn’t make Peter Meares’ side of 30 leading Australian sports commentators of recent years.

I guess it’s a bit like picking teams of the century, selecting the 10 best left-handed batsmen of all time or trying to work out whether Bradman’s 1948 Invincibles really were better than Chappell squared plus Lillee, Marsh, Thomson and Co — all great fun over a few schooners at the pub but unlikely to unearth any definitive result.

Regardless, Peter Meares, himself a leading sports caller for some 35 years, has selected a formidable line-up that includes obvious names such Norman May, Dennis Cometti, Ian Chappell and Jim Maxwell, and a few long-shots, too. There’s Benny Pike, for instance, who, alongside the late George Grljusich, surely managed to breath about as much life and humour into boxing commentary as was possible.

Peter presents their stories in ways that are both entertaining and meaningful in terms of the broader sporting fabric, interspersing great calls with embarrassing guffs, and showing the commitment, complexity, humour and foibles that lie behind the headsets and microphones.

There are plenty of good yarns between the covers of All Piss and Wind, and you’d expect some of the best to concern Kerry O’Keefe, for former Test cricketer who is now a regular with ABC Radio.

The following exchange with Indian co-commentator Harsha Bhogle took place when O’Keeffe was lamenting the trials of staying up all night to listen to cricket coverage from England:

Harsha: “In India we also like to sit up during the night and listen to the Ashes Tests, but it’s hard to stay awake, so I have a Scotch. I might have a couple of stiffies, in fact.”

Kerry: “Me too.”

Harsha: “How many stiffies would you have in a night, Kerry?”

Kerry (snorting): One, if I’m lucky Harsha — I’m fifty bloody years old!”

Yes ... there is quite a bit of piss and wind in sports commentary, but for the buffs it’s serious stuff and Meares has very successfully brought together the stories of the messengers who bring sport from around the world into our lounge rooms.